Thirty-Two Years Ago Today...(April 15)

Thirty-two years ago, I was struggling to get through college, trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life.  I was months away from my 20th birthday and miles away from Memphis, Tennessee.

I wasn't there to behold the perfection that would be born on this day nor did I have the privilege of nursing the tiny newborn body. There are no memories of her first step or her first words. I didn't get to rock her to sleep with soft lullaby songs, nor wake her up with smothering kisses. I wasn't there to dress her for her first day of school, and I have no idea what her favorite toy was. 

Though I missed those first seven years of Jessica's life, she is--for all practical purposes--my firstborn...and the love I feel for this precious child of mine overwhelms me each time I think of her.

A grown up in a little girl's body, she was always rambunctious and incredibly intuitive.  Her boldness and sassiness are still undeniable, and  her strong-willed personality helped her navigate through the tumultuous teenage waters and thrive during her college days.  Throughout those years her days were filled with cheerleading, basketball, soccer, softball, volleyball, church, choir, ADPi sorority and teaching.  Whew!  And her life is well documented in pictures--she captured every phase of her life on camera!

She has always been so much more mature than her age; and even now, she has become a leader in her own right, still full of passion, still full of life. and i am blessed to have the privilege of being a part of the last 25 years that have created a lifetime of memories to treasure always.

Now, thirty-two years later, she is married raising her own daughter, about to experience the birth of a second daughter. How proud I am of the woman she has become!

Today, as we celebrate Jessica, we also, once again, celebrate God's providence in all things which allows my cup to runneth over!

A New Twist on Friendships

Don't know why it is that i keep finding things to write about concerming friendshps, but i'm just going to go with the flow here...so...

The week leading up to April Fool's Day, Hannah and her boyfriend, Tim, decided to stage a breakup as an April Fool joke.  The whole week, they slipped in their conversations with friends how they were fighting more than not, etc.  They pretended to be aggravated with one another. The day before April 1, they staged the breakup so that by the time they changed their relationship status on facebook to "single," the posts and telephone calls were already coming in. 

Now this is where the whole friendship thing comes in.  I never thought about how differently friendships are between males and females!  All Hannah's posts from her friends were full of sympathy and promises to be there for her and offers of chocolate and ice cream and lots of shoulders.  Tim, on the other hand, received one main comment:  "Oh, don't worry...you'll find somebody a thousand times better..." 

But it doesn't end there.  So, whenever they said their "April Fools" and changed their status back to "in a relationship with ..." the guys did not find the joke to be funny at all...in fact, they were downright upset about it...while only one of Hannah's girlfriends did not find any humor in the joke.  In fact, Hannah was pleasantly surprised in realizing how her friends would respond in the face of adversity and even posted on her facebook that she had the most wonderful friends in the world!  Tim, though, has let the joke slowly fade!

Maybe it's because I've nothing but girls, but I felt really badly for Tim at the thought that his friends would dismiss his year-long relationship with my daughter so carelessly!  If the poor guy thought there was any possibility of reconciliation, he surely wouldn't be able to turn to his friends for encouragement!  But this is supposedly how guys comfort one another!  How absurd!....Maybe that's why I never had any boys...maybe that's why i'll just be content in gaining sons through my daughters!

I guess I could spend much time analyzing guys and the anatomy of their friendships, but I think I'll just rest in the fact the my cup runneth over because I am female...and that I understand!

More about Friendships

I've already said that I totally believe good friendships are the cornerstone of our lives and a blessing ordained by God Himself.  Nothing is more evident then when tragedy obliterates our once familiar life.

But what is not so evident is when our not-quite-adult children are able to live it out in fullness of the very One who ordained it.

I was at lunch with one of my friends last week when I received a text (i'm still getting use to this new technology in my life...) from Hannah saying she had just found out that Fred's mom had died. 

Fred attends school with Hannah, and the only way to describe this young man is as a big, loveable, cuddly teddy bear.  He has a heart of gold and smile that reaches into tomorrow.  Fred has often caught rides home with us since 9th grade, as his mom worked many hours to support them (She brought Fred to the U.S. from Brazil when he was a baby).

Anyway, back to the text...we exchange our shock and sadness, and I attempt to call Fred; but his mailbox is full. It isn't until I am on the way home that I give in to the overwhelming reality of his situation and, along with my tears, pour out my heart to God on Fred's behalf.  For all practical purposes, Fred is now an orphan. 

Once home, I figure I'll write on his facebook wall, so he'll at least know we're praying for him. 

I cannot begin to describe to you my utter amazement when I logged on and typed in Fred's name.  There, on his wall, are post after post of prayers and sympathies.  But what was most amazing to me was what these 15-, 16-, 17- and 18-year olds were saying.  Guys were posting "I love you bro" and classmates were were expressing God's love and encouraging him through the scripture and reminding him they would be there for him!  Talk about light in a dark place!

We hear so many negatives about our youth, and yet, here I am witnessing young men and women gathering around this young man and enveloping him with the love of Christ.  They are being the hands and feet, and they KNOW what that looks like, feels like and sounds like!  In the midst of tragedy, they understand hope and where that hope comes from.  I cannot begin to share what happened to my heart at that moment and the pride that welled up in me for these kids whom my daughter calls friends.  I bow in humility and gratefulness for each and every one of them and thank God that they are part of Hannah's life and she is a part of theirs. 

Romans 12:15 says to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.  These friends are living out that truth and giving life to that word.  Despite the broken hearts and overwhelming sadness of this circumstance, that, my friends, makes my heart dance and my cup to run over...

Reflections on My Friendships

I have been reading Beth Moore's "So Long Insecurities" (it's been sitting on the bookshelf for ONLY a year now)!  She got to talking about the people in our lives.  The more "stuff" I read and the more folks I talk with, the more I realize how blessed I am to have even one true friend. 

So when Beth Moore wrote, in prayer form, "there have been people who have shown me glimpses of You...not perfect people, but genuine people.  In particular, I thank you for...," I began my list.  It didn't take me long to realize just how blessed I am.  I totally believe that good friendships are the cornerstone of our lives and a blessing ordained by God Himself.

The first person I wrote down was my sister, Sylvia.  My mom used to say, "When we're gone and the rest of the world deserts you, you will still have each other...don't forget that!"  I never have.  Nineteen months my junior, Sylvia has experienced life with me for fifty years...and she still loves me!  We know more about each other than ought to be allowed...and we know what's allowed and what's not.  We still are best friends and I am eternally grateful that God saw fit to place her with me!

Immediately behind her is my husband, Keith.  He is also my Knight In Shining Armour, my lover, and my confidante.  I inherited two beautiful daughters by him and carried two more by him.  We've raised them together and have entered the season of grandparenthood together.  We are growing old together...enough said.

For 35 years, I have maintained friendships with two of my high school buddies, Debbie and Susie.  We grew up together...traveled different roads together...continue to find ways to be together.  They know my past--We are the stuff books are written about.

Then there's Mindy, Jennifer, Lisa, and Lynn.  Eighteen years ago, they came waltzing into my life--each friendship with its own personality--together we're rock solid.  We have grown up in the Lord together and have come to intimately experience all those characteristics that either bind people together or tear them apart.  We have a bond of three cords. They are the reason I cried for a solid year when I left them in Memphis to start a new life in Nashville.  I still take them everywhere I go.

As I contemplate so many other friendships I left behind, I can't help but smile to think of the influence that they all have had on my life.

And now that I call Nashville home, more specifically Franklin, I can honestly say that my list continues to grow as God faithfully opens new doors to friendships that mirror scriptural definitions...I so want to walk with open arms to embrace all that these friendships have to offer...and just maybe, I can be even more of a blessing in return so that my cup will continue to runneth over...!

Cell Phones, Toilets, and Other Nonsense

Last week was the end of the 3rd nine weeks...Hannah was fervishly, not to mention desperately, putting all her energies into her studies to bring her grades above passing.  The icing on the cake was a possible Spring Break trip to the ocean if her hard work paid off. 

Monday started her down the home stretch to Wednesday, and she was cautiously feeling her heavy burden lifting...her Algebra class was the last class pulling her down, and she had already made up tests and was waiting for them to be posted.  She was to make up the last 2 tests after school.  School let out, but her teacher had apparently left early for the day.  She began to get a bit nervous.

Tuesday she found out her Algebra teacher had been hospitalized (he did get to go home Thursday)--dashing all her hopes for a spring break trip without those grades.  It went from bad to worse when I received a phone call at work that went something like this:

"Mom? mpdlfosapiueph vfpdks dsldkewfs..."

"Hannah, I can't hear you hon...I have Ms. Elaine on the other line.  Can I call you right back?"

"No mom...tell Misty not to call me if she needs me before I see her for tutoring."

"Why?"

"I just told you...because my phone is mpfppmf mifl;pas pmgffslep."

"What?"

"My phone is in the SEWER SEA!"

"WHATTTT?!?!?!?"

"My phone was accidentally flushed down the toilet!"

"What happened?"

"I'll tell you later...i'm in class and i have to go."

I later learned that she put her phone in her jacket pocket--which she never does...She used the rest room on the way to class--which she never does...She flushed the toilet with her hand--which she never does. 
When she bent over and flushed, the phone--as she described it--dived straight into the toilet and was sucked away...no tornado swirls, no banging against porcelain...just a flash of color. 

I never realized the importance of a phone to a teenager until she described her mortification at the realization her phone was forever gone, lost in the sewer sea. 

Though neither of the girls have any bells and whistles on their phones...no texting, no internet, just 400 minutes to split between them...she did have a multitude of phone numbers with photos, special names, and special ringtones (that took hours to look up on youtube and record by placing the phone right next to the speaker.  But there was the matter of her grades. 

So, Wednesday came, and so did the grades.  Hannah triumphantly pulled every single grade (and she was STRUGGLING with 6 out of 7 classes) from disasters to 1 incomplete, 2 As, 3 Bs, and 1 C (and it is only one point away from a B!)  Unbelievable!

So off to AT&T we go to find out IF there are any options outside of paying full price for a replacement. We proceed to tell the CS rep Hannah's woeful story which brings a knowing smile to the man's face as he heads to the computer to look us up.  Lo and behold, Keith has an upgrade she can use to replace her old phone for ONLY $19.99 compared to the $229 it would cost otherwise.  We make the deal and turn to leave--with visions of our happy daughter running through our minds--when the CS rep notes that I am also due for an upgrade!  To which my dear husband whispers under his breath, "Yea, but she wants the iphone..." (yes, for 3 years now...)

"Well...with your upgrade and additional discounts, you'll pay only $40!"

Drool begins to dribble down my chin..."Yeah, but one price of the package deal we'd have to pay for to have the phone..."

"Well...let's take a look at you current package."  He pulls out his little calculator and calculates the package deal that would get us the most for the least and proudly announces, "you'll end up paying $25.44 (or something like that) more than what you are currently paying.  Not only will you have internet access and texting, but you also will have GPS, weather, free apps, ability to synch your calendars, notes, mail, etc., and an ipod!"

I'm looking at Keith with that obsessed look in my eye, and he knows the battle is already over realizing he's put off the inevitable as long as he could.  I hear something about Mother's Day coming up as he pulls out the debit card...my ears are ringing, my palms are sweaty, and i'm as googled-eye as a 5-year-old on Christmas morning! 

AN IPHONE!!!!  Now mind you, my reasons for wanting the iphone have nothing to do with internet access and texting--in fact, i could care less about those features and have a personal soapbox regarding those features.  HOWEVER,  an address book that doesn't have to be rewritten year after year, a calendar that can be synched with my computer, and an ipod--all in one little 2.5x4.5 fit-into-the-palm-of-my-hand contraption--small enought to actually FIT into my purse!!!  YESS!  But one top of that, it has a GPS!!!  I will never get lost again  (i am, admittedly, directionally illiterate)!!!!  It also has a decent camera AND i can download my bible into it! (i've since discovered that i can also download an app that will turn my phone into a flashlight!)

I AM IN HEAVEN!  Sooo...off we go with our goody bag discussing whether or not to tell the girls they have texting yet or wait until they leave for spring break...we arrive home not long after the girls.

Hannah's first question, of course, is "What did you find out?"

The joker in me jumps out, and I come up with a story.  "I'm sorry, Hannah.  They don't have anything until your upgrade in May.  You'll just have to wait until then."

Silence.  Quiet, surrendered silence.

"So, no options, huh?" 

"No."  I walk away thinking of how to fabricate this story more. "However, for emergencies, they said we could get a prepaid phone...and it was less than $10."  I throw her what she thinks is a cheap emergency phone, and she grudgingly starts to open it before she realizes it's her replacement phone! Of course, she explodes with excitement and gratitude as she eagerly opens it.

After a bit, Keith says, "Did you show them what you got?"

I pull out my phone, hiding it from their view, and with the same obsessed look, slowly reveal the little apple on the back of the phone.

In hopeful anticipation, Rebeka's spouts, "So does this mean we have texting?!?!"

"No dear,"  I lie.  "Only I have the internet and texting service.  Sorry."

After sitting for a minute or two, the girls pick up their things and head upstairs. Instantly deciding that I'll text them to reveal they have texting, I attempt to figure out HOW to text!  Finally, I figure it out and text them:

"By the way...you both DO have texting."  Send.

A few seconds pass before we hear simultaneous beeps come from upstairs.  I hear a "HUH?" come from one of the girls, and then screaming.  Footsteps clamor from one room, then back to the other--more screaming and four feet scrambling down the stairs.  Rebeka throws herself at her daddy with a plethera of "thank you's."

Hannah yells, "WHERE IS MY MOTHER AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER?!?!" 

More kisses and hugs and "thank you's,"  and for the next half hour, the house is filled with bleeps and beeps echoing from one end to the other as the texting grapevine returns hundreds of congratulations and YAYYY's before I make them turn the phones off (for sanity's sake if nothing else!!)

And that, folks, is the story of how the toilet brought our family into the 21st century of phone technology...and though I have now had my phone for a week, I have learned how to use only the GPS proficiently!!! 

Even Keith is having a bit of fun learning to text!  We have to admit though, every time we start texting, we end up calling the recipient!!!

So, despite all the struggles, mishaps, and frustrations that life has thrown our way, at the end of the day (or, in this case, end of the nine weeks), God is still with us accomplishing the impossible (even throwing in an extra physical blessing), bringing smiles and warmth into our family circle, proving that our cup runneth over...