Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Diamonds from Deep Desperate Desires

Having a transparent moment. 

There are 41 and counting ladies signed up for m2m--largest count since we began. It's been a long and hard road at times & it's not about the number, but it's what He is doing in the heart of these precious moms that gets me.

Girls, they get it, just like us, 20 years ago. In their eyes I see us & it brings me to my knees every time. They are desperately digging for Him, a place to belong and sweet friendships that last in joy & tears. Just like us! My heart is overwhelmed & I have the biggest lump in my throat. The moms are bringing 1-2-3 friends. I'm blown away by these sweet moms--they are on fire and my heart overflows.

Just trying to stay out of His way & let Him have His way, the only way!

Sorry, didn't mean to rant but really needed to share my deepest heart and joy. I'm humbled by His grace right now. Praying I can keep it together on Wednesday when I speak.

I know you'd understand without judgment. I do this every first day, ugh...enough already!

Love you!

The text came through earlier in the day, but it wasn't until evening before i had a chance to read it...and i just wept.  Her words swept over me sending me into a river of remembrance that indeed was so long ago.

We had heard about  a teacher who used scripture as a foundation to teach mommies how to be better.
There were five of us.
We all had babies.
I was the oldest.
The bible study teacher had teenagers.
So did i.

Lord knows I needed to learn how to do this thing better. With 14 years between my teens and my babies, I knew I was failing miserably.

The first day we sat down in the pew together and pulled out our notebooks and pens, I knew God had drawn me here for such a time as this.

Tears tried to sneak out past my eyelids more than a thousand times in that one hour for the next ten years. Each time i left, I was walking just a little bit lighter.  I knew that I'd found my hope again and that I could do this thing~~and not just survive, but thrive.  And those 4 kindred spirits surrounding me were walking it out with me~~all with one hope:  we could be Godly mommas and there was a "reality" that we could learn how to "train up a child in the way he should go...[so that] he would not depart from it." 

Our hearts desire.

How did i respond?  With sheer, utter delight to confirm my friend, my sister in the faith:
"Ohmygoodnessgraciousalive!!!  My heart just melted all over the floor with the memories that just welled up and boiled over!  Oh the gifts of the heart!  Oh the joy of the Lord! Oh the sweetness of kindred spirits given directly from the Hand of God to move us from yesterday through today and into tomorrow!
Thank you my sista for sharing your heart and taking us to those alters of remembrance! I love y'all!"
Friends are just another reason my cup overflows!