When i finally pulled myself from the warmth of my covers, i had exactly 15 minutes to get dressed and make sure my daughters were ready for their first day as a junior and sophomore.
This is one of those moments in which my inadequacies were never more apparent, because a good mom would be organized and would have made her children's lunches the night before, written special 1st-day-back-to-school encouraging notes to put in their lunches, cooked a healthy breakfast and helped them find all their school accessories.....i barely had time to spread the p, b & j on the slices of bread before they grabbed them out of my hand throwing them into baggies...ugh!
I did manage to lead us in some good prayer time on the way to school, but the spirit of defeat weighed heavy on me as i pulled out of the parking lot back onto the crowded road. My intentions yesterday were so honorable as i laid out the plans to make sure everything would run smoothly our last day of summer vacation and first day of school!! Before i pulled into the driveway, i had already beat myself up and condemned myself as a mother.
After going through the motions in reading my morning scriptures, i opened up my email to the devotion for today which was titled, "Do You Have a Dream?" The following words caught my eyes, my attention and my heart:
But God. I love those two words when you put them together. He makes a way where there is no way. He loves to use unlikely people so He gets all the credit for any good that comes from their frail and faulty efforts. I'm convinced He wasn't looking for the most qualified person, He was simply looking for a woman who would dare to say yes to Him...My job all along was to simply be obedient to God. My job was obedience, God's job was results. That's true no matter what we're pursuing - be it a job, a spouse, a calling or a dream. I had to be obedient to God in the small things and the big things. Some days as a woman in ministry my big job was to change diapers with a good attitude and apologize to my husband for acting so stubborn. Other days it was to have coffee with a woman and simply listen to her heart. Still other days it was to write an article that would only be read by 35 readers of our small little newsletter at the time...Isn't God good?!! I just had to jump up in my thank-you-Jesus dance! In all my inadequacies, He is still using me! Maybe it was more important that I prayed with my girls today--the first day of a brand new year filled not only with anticipation and eagerness but also with an acute awareness of the challenges and their own inadequacies to be overcome and conquered--I am confident that they slipped out of the van and into the classroom prayed up and filled up ready to be poured out!
And did you see where she wrote "some days my big job is to...apologize to my husband for acting so stubborn"???? Inadequacy. But she found redemption! Oh Yes! There is hope!
Now, maybe tomorrow i WILL wake up before they do and make their lunches and a hot healthy breakfast--WITH a smile on my face!!!...because, in my heart, my dream is to indeed be a godly mom--a proverbs women if you will--whose children do rise up and call her blessed because she is obedient to God and teaches her children obedience!
I can't help but think of a cartoon that read: God doesn't call the qualified; he qualifies the called!
I am called! how can my cup but runneth over!!!
...di.
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