Tomorrow I will say goodbye to her...to the body that gave her so much trouble these past few years, but not to the life she poured out into others. For many years, I only knew her as the aunt who made all my clothes, making me look better than any barbie doll in all her finery.
In high school and all through college, our relationship grew through family get togethers and reunions. She used to always tease me for being so active, affectionately calling me "squirrely." "Dianna, you are a squirrely little thing..." she'd always say.
But it wasn't until I married a man, whose children I would inherit, that I discovered her greatest gift to me. Having a blended family herself, she understood and reached out to me in a most unpredictable way. She encouraged me in my mothering of my Jessica and my Melanie, knowing that in my heart they were my greatest treasures and understanding the love that I held for them. She knew how to love well...and she shared that gift with me.
In these last years, she has shared the joy of my family, always wanting details about ALL my girls and all my granddaughters, rattling off questions about each one of them faster than any of the girls' rounds of why's at 2 years of age! I loved her for that.
We talked about the hummingbirds three weekends ago when we last visited her home. On this particular day, one hummingbird feeder hung from outside her window with several birds feeding from it. My youngest daughters, Hannah and Rebeka, remember sitting outside in the garden area with what seemed like millions of hummingbirds feeding all around us. What a great memory to hang onto....
We were not surprised to hear that she was back in the hospital--she had already expressed her desire to leave this earth. But hearing the news meant the reality was before us...so as I worked to rearrange 4 schedules and 2 cars, I was also working to mentally prepare myself for what I knew in my heart would be the last time I would see her. So it was quite a joy that her first words to me when I walked into the room were, "It's about time you got here!" She just knew and had expected me to be there to greet her when she had been admitted the night before! To be honest, if I had known she was on her way, I would have...!
Maybe, in a way, it was good that they whisked her away for surgery, not allowing me any room to think of a farewell before it was time to head back into my world of husband, kids and schedules that kept me from seeing her one more time...but I don't think she would have wanted it any other way...because she had shown me that's how you love well.
But tomorrow, I will join with many others to celebrate her life and say goodbye to her for now...but the knowledge that she is with God in a perfect body praising Him with the others of her family trumps my sadness of knowing she is no longer here and that her work here is done.
But even in this sadness, I can't help but smile knowing that even in her death, my cup overflows because we were loved by her...
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